I had a frustrating conversation with someone yesterday about the state of my "career" that left me feeling anxious. I went to bed sad because I felt a little pressure to do something that promised a paycheck and no time for myself. I deal with these voices in my head on a regular basis but when someone verbalizes those self-accusations they feel true. Family can be my life saver and my heart breaker at the same time. So, I went running with my iPod and borrowed earbuds and invited the endorphins to join me in my emotional circus. First came Corrine Bailey Rae's 'Put Your Record On'. This helped me let go a little.
Then there were these lyrics from a surprising source, The Drive-By Truckers...
"So if what you have is working for you, or you think that it can stand a reasonable chance,
and whatever's broken seems fixable and nothing's beyond repair
If you still think about each other and smile before you remember
how screwed up it's gotten or maybe dream of a time less rotten
Remember, it ain't too late to take a deep breath and throw yourself into it with everything you got..."
I finished off my run with a select few songs from Jenny Lewis', Rabbit Fur Coat. I ended up feeling that I was okay and that situations like the one last night can be good stress points if it makes me think long and hard to examine why it was said and the value of the thoughts that came from it. The last two years have been a strain on my spirit but I think I'm growing with it. Thats the point of life, right?
Um, on a lighter note, I have finished a lovely summer tote that is going up in the Etsy shop later today. I've also had these catch-alls lying around since my last festival. I've seen some on Etsy and thought they were a great idea so I've tried my hand at them. They hang on your door handle and are perfect for storing frequently used children's books and small toys or all of the things you take with you on the way out. My husband could use one of these!
I'm all about encouraging the marriage of beauty and organization.
I also found this fantastic shop that has some of the cutest onesies I've seen! Check them out!
Off to feed the boy. Thanks for reading.
19 comments:
oh yes - beautifully disguised organization!
when i moved in here, i realized there is always a little pile at the end of the day . . . phones, rings, wallets, keys . . .
so we have a nice black leather box that sits in the catch-all area . . . it is more of a "catch-most" box, but it is better than nothing!
hope you are feeling better today. i am sorry for the parts of that conversation that were not truth. if there is anything that you needed to push you forward, i know god will let you in on that in due time.
breath.
(thanks for being vulnerable)
Do what makes you happy!
Love the totes...Great choice of music...I love how music seems to speak to u and make everything better. As a mother we are superwoman..we are expected to do everything and never complain. And i do mean everything. It almost makes u want to cry sometimes. THe only thing that matters is our children and how we take care of them. If i get a job that pays me lots of money is that going to affect the way my child ultimately grows up? We want to give our children everything but our love is really the only thing they want. If you are not starving on the streets with no roof over ur head i dont see why its any of anyones business what u do or if u get a steady check. Children only grow up once and when we work we miss those important times.... I know, I was a working mom up until 2 years ago. Now i stay at home and i wouldnt have it any other way. Only you know what you need to do dont worry about what other ppl say or think. :)
I'm sorry that someone made you feel that way, Rachel. I would say that it's none of their business, but family usually means well and is only trying to help. (in my experience anyway) I find myself struggling to get to a point where I can make money without being out of the house from 9-5 (or so)....I don't want to have to miss my children growing up, nor do I want them to grow up knowing someone else better than they know me...so until I can find a way that we can make enough money that I can raise my babies I probably won't have any. I was actually just reading Mary Tyler Moore's autobiography today and she mentioned something to the effect of just how important it is to be there for your children...and that she thinks she would make a much better mother now than when she had her son....anyway, I'm rambling, I'm just saying that, though it does make it harder financially, I think the job you're doing right now is the most important one there is. Hang in there!
Ok, I'm loving the fabric! And corrine Bailey Rae is a great cd! So . . . I do not know the situation at all, but all I have to say is it is never smart to do anything in life JUST for money. Follow your desires and passions :-) this is what brings purpose and joy! Best wishes!
Girl, you have the most important job out there, and that's being there for your baby. :) And besides that, you are creating beautiful things that make other people happy! :)
I seriously think (and I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this!) that families in general would be much happier if we could go back to the way God intended, for Mama's to be able to take care of the home and their children without having to be caught up in the whole 9-5 crazy lives.
So I am definitely in your corner and think that what you are doing is a good thing. :)
Gorgeous bags! Love the colors you chose. Hang in there...follow your heart...i'm sure it'll all work in your favor.
P.S. I need your addy...my daughter chose you as a winner. Check my blog for more details!!
just stumbled upon your blog and i love it! totally believe you should always stay true to what's right for you!
Love the bags, they are awesome !!! Hmmm... might have to buy one...
I was a full time working mother until two years ago. I stopped for a minute looked around and realized that my children were 7 and 4. (Wow.. I couldn't believe that that much time had passed in their lives, and where was I? )At work thinking about them for 10 hours a day. I am so glad that I am able to work pt time now. I am so close to my children, and that means so much to me.
I agree with (shelly b), that you should do what makes you happy. Honestly, thats the bottom line.
Thanks for sharing.
MNScrapbookmom ¥
If it makes you feel any better...I bought one of your totes (the yellow-stripes-anchor-and-buttons-fabulousness) and it has brought me nothing but joy! What you are doing creatively inspires me...But not nearly as much as your bravery to be a stay-at-home-mom! Good luck!
its all part of the journey. conversations, inner voices, all allowing us to discover what is truly our path. don't be discouraged, be glad the questions have come up...so you can chew on them and spit them out and say "i'm doing what is right for me, so there!" keep inspiring us, keep creating, keep mama-ing. :)
i struggle over my career choice all too often. i spend my days providing daycare for a one year old, and love it. but i have a college degree in accounting, and i quit my "real" job to do something that i love.
it's a choice that makes sense to me, and my husband is very supportive, but i don't think my family gets it at all. they think i'm just being lazy and ask if i'm ever going to get another job. but i think i have the perfect life for me right now. i spend my days playing with my favorite little guy, and have the evenings free for sewing and scrapbooking and creating.
years ago i bought a tiny little book at an airport gift shop that has a bunch of quotes in it and is titled "do what you love". that made all the difference for me. life is too short to worry about what other people think you should do.
(this is so long, i should have just emailed it!)
Thanks for the post.
Love the totes :)
I just love reading your blog Rachel. Always makes me smile. I agree with ShellyB, do what makes you happy. But there are times when I feel guilty for how much time I put into my crafts. I know that it is time that I could be spending with my kids or my hubby. On another note it just makes me feel better. Just expressing myself and getting lost in doing what I love makes me happy. Which equals me being a better mommy. Do what makes you happy. Peace honey!
Rachel,
Don't feel bad about your job! I would kill to do what you do!! I have been wanting to have a job I could "create" stuff at home just to bring in a little extra income. My thoughts are that as long as you and your husband are happy, there is no reason you need to go out and get a "real" job. Who cares what anyone else thinks! I'm about to move and I'm going to have to look for that "real" job. However, if I can somehow make my "creations" bring in the money... :) Anyways...that's my thoughts. Hope you have a happy day! ~C
Oh, yes, and I LOVE that tote on the top! When are you putting it on Esty? :D
your things are beautiful!! give it time.
the bag at the top of this entry - do you have fabric to choose from - I would love to have one!
Le Anne Bull
Hi, I love your projects and your down to earth nature. I recently found your blog and love it. Where do you get your fabrics?
Follow your heart, it will always lead you in the right direction and bring you peace. Plus, right now what you do is your passion, if you were forced to do it, you may lose that. Ultimately you know yourself and what your life is like best. What others have to say is their opinion-and that is all- an opinion. Don't forget that you rock!
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