The last five weeks or so have been odd. It started out with a strong reason to believe I might be pregnant. You know, one of those accidental lapses in judgment that leaves you holding your breath for as long as it takes to know if you need to buy a bigger vehicle.
Well, for the following three weeks I felt queasy every afternoon, exhausted and lethargic in the early evening, and a tad bit more emotional than usual. I was seriously convinced that this was round three. I couldn't remember when my last cycle was so I was taking a pregnancy test every two days. I think I went through six of them. All negative.
Still the nausea and fatigue kept up and I tried not to get a little excited as all of the familiar feelings of pregnancy set in. I have felt it at least two weeks before tests will confirm it every time before but was still pretty aware of how uncertain these early weeks can be. I finally figured out the first day of my last cycle based off of a specific feminine needs product purchased at Walgreens on the same day (thank you, online banking) and was still a week away from possibly seeing a positive test.
Three weeks of hanging in limbo and thinking you know but not having confirmation can make a girl crazy. Without wanting to go into too much detail, I had some signs of my cycle show up a few days early and decided all of that nausea and fatigue was just exhaustion or some bug. Then I read online that you can have some signs of your cycle without it being your cycle. I wasn't having any cramping so it made sense. I got a little hopeful again. I drove to Walgreens for my last two tests. The first one was negative. I waited three more days. The second one was negative.
I gave it up. I decided my body may have been headed that direction but something didn't take early on and things got flushed out with the regular run of things. I couldn't help but be both relieved and extremely sad. I still had nausea and fatigue and really strong emotions for another week which was probably just the hormones in my body winding down. I didn't know what to label what had happened or whether to trust my body in what it was telling me since I didn't have any proof. Proof being a plus sign on a stick.
It happens to lots of women and they don't even know. Mostly I realized I really do want another child. Brett and I have this little time line of when we can start trying again but we know it's not completely in our control. In the meantime I'm hoping to get back to a weight that feels healthier. Which brings me to the last week...
A few days after I started finally feeling good again (no more nausea or fatigue) Brett proposed that we start a new eating plan. It's called the Paleo plan and basically shows you how to eat healthy, unprocessed foods to have higher energy levels, lose weight, and shift your body's chemistry from acid to alkaline. There are a ton of diets out there and I'm not into dieting but I knew this one would help me reshape my eating habits in a way that would bring positive changes and, with some modifications, become a new lifestyle.
No refined sugar, grains, or dairy. This means no creamer in my coffee.
So, we've been drinking lots of tea, eating lean meats, hard boiling eggs, having big salads full of vegetables, and enjoying lots of Lara bars. The first three days I felt hungry and unsatisfied. The next two days I felt like I had the flu but wasn't as hungry. Yesterday I finally felt great and even though I haven't lost much weight yet, my body feels better. We're hoping to keep this up for a few more weeks to reap the benefits and then who knows what modifications we'll make after that. It feels exciting, though!
Needless to say, the last five weeks I've been feeling pretty yucky, which has led to a shift in priorities and how much time I spend blogging. This warmer weather has shown up in Missouri just in time. Like a consolation prize or something.
I felt insecure about sharing my three weeks in limbo but wanted to let you know where my head has been lately. I'm looking forward to a fun weekend at home working on projects (and hopefully answering a few e-mails). Spring break starts today for us!!!
Thanks so much for your presence here.